Just one of those days…

sleeping1Today was “one of those days.”

Actually, it started as “one of those nights.”

Baby Girl was up more than she was down last night. The Fitbit said I slept a total of 3 hours and 38 minutes – and not all at once. I’m not sure what her deal was, but it definitely didn’t involve laying quietly in her bed with her eyes closed. Needless to say when I “woke up” (ha!) this morning, I was not a happy camper.

Neither was Little Man. Not sure what his deal was either. He got a whopping 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep last night. When he got up, he was more about kicking and screaming than he was about sitting quietly and saying “Yes, mommy, I would love for you to change my diaper and brush my teeth.” I guess this wasn’t really unusual for the 2 year old, but this particular morning, I really could have used a little more cooperation than I’m used to getting from him.

I snapped. I yelled. I scowled. I sat with my head in my hands for longer than I care to admit. Then, came that all-too-familiar feeling. The remorse. The mommy guilt. Ugh.

So, I apologized. I cried. I hugged my kiddos and told them I loved them and I was sorry and I was so tired and I was sorry. Little Man said, “Mommy, be happy.” Baby Girl just looked at me and smiled. How in the world could I have gotten so angry with them?

But, it happens. More often than I care to admit. I tell people all the time, you have no idea how deleterious sleep deprivation can be until you have a kid. And you have no idea what kind of person you will become when you haven’t had more than a 3-hour stretch of sleep for almost a year(!). I hate how impatient and just-plain-angry I get when I’m exhausted. But, it happens. And I immediately feel guilty and immediately apologize. Thank goodness these kids are so forgiving.

And, thank goodness tomorrow is another day.

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