Today was “one of those days.”
Actually, it started as “one of those nights.”
Baby Girl was up more than she was down last night. The Fitbit said I slept a total of 3 hours and 38 minutes – and not all at once. I’m not sure what her deal was, but it definitely didn’t involve laying quietly in her bed with her eyes closed. Needless to say when I “woke up” (ha!) this morning, I was not a happy camper.
Neither was Little Man. Not sure what his deal was either. He got a whopping 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep last night. When he got up, he was more about kicking and screaming than he was about sitting quietly and saying “Yes, mommy, I would love for you to change my diaper and brush my teeth.” I guess this wasn’t really unusual for the 2 year old, but this particular morning, I really could have used a little more cooperation than I’m used to getting from him.
I snapped. I yelled. I scowled. I sat with my head in my hands for longer than I care to admit. Then, came that all-too-familiar feeling. The remorse. The mommy guilt. Ugh.
So, I apologized. I cried. I hugged my kiddos and told them I loved them and I was sorry and I was so tired and I was sorry. Little Man said, “Mommy, be happy.” Baby Girl just looked at me and smiled. How in the world could I have gotten so angry with them?
But, it happens. More often than I care to admit. I tell people all the time, you have no idea how deleterious sleep deprivation can be until you have a kid. And you have no idea what kind of person you will become when you haven’t had more than a 3-hour stretch of sleep for almost a year(!). I hate how impatient and just-plain-angry I get when I’m exhausted. But, it happens. And I immediately feel guilty and immediately apologize. Thank goodness these kids are so forgiving.
And, thank goodness tomorrow is another day.